


Jokes Aside

by Michevalier



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Ai's joke is stuck in my head, Angst, Controversial Topic, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Hotdogshipping, I suppose, I'm Sorry, I'm still screeching, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Shosaku
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-18 00:05:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12376866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michevalier/pseuds/Michevalier
Summary: One spontaneous act near the legendary Stardust Road made the two open up to each other in a way nobody would have ever thought of. Who would have expected that Yusaku had such jokes-aside-matter plans for his future? How was Shoichi supposed to respond to such a revelation?Thanks a lot, Ai, for your joke about them "making out"! I just couldn't refrain from writing this!





	Jokes Aside

**Author's Note:**

> Don't judge me. I need this ship badly in my life. I just cannot get over how cute they are together either platonically or romantically T-T

"Hey-hey," Shoichi's tone was undoubtedly filled with concern. "Call it off for today, huh?"

Indeed, Yusaku's eyes were painfully tingling after several hours of non-stop staring at his laptop's screen. Having closed the device's lid, the boy rubbed his stiff neck with his palm.

"It's already late, you should have some rest," Shoichi closed his shop and, having got out of the truck, put one more chair next to Yusaku's.

"You haven't got much income today, have you?" 

"Nah, it's okay," the man smiled as he stretched his legs and sat back, relaxing. "Just enough of money to get by for at least today."

"This spot is not as lively as the central square," Yusaku unintentionally mimicked his pose.

"But it's sure more peaceful and beautiful," Shoichi smiled with his eyelids half-closed as he was enjoying the sound of the ocean waves and seagulls squawking. "I'm not regretting spending time in places like this once in awhile."

"Well, it is," the boy couldn't avert his eyes from breathtaking scenery of the blazing golden disc slowly disappearing behind the skyline and the very last beams illuminating cotton-candy clouds as if making them blush at the warm and loving touch of the sun. "The air here smells kinda nice too."

"That's iodine," Shoichi chuckled. "Just what doctors prescribe for keeping your health."

"Is that the reason why we are here?" Yusaku smiled taking a sip from his mug. "Taking care of your health?"

"I'd rather say taking care of _yours_ ," the man sighed, scratching the back of his head. "Honestly, you strain yourself too much, Yusaku."

"Do I?" the boy looked at him so nonchalantly that Shoichi frowned.

"You do, young man. Jokes aside, if I weren't around, you wouldn't have eaten a bit today because you were so much concentrated on your work."

"I needed to focus all my attention if I wanted to find something," Yusaku said and took some french fries that have already gotten cold.

"And yet, there was none," Shoichi sighed heavily. "The stuff we managed to dig out is not that helpful, but the risk that you went through in SOL's data bank..."

"Even that much was something. We did learn about the ones responsible for that incident, and I assume that even if we cannot reach and interrogate the direct initiators, at the very least Revolver as the Knights of Hanoi's leader must know something."

"If only what he knows could help my brother..." 

"This hope is not dead. Don't let yourself be in low spirits, Kusanagi-san. We may not have won yet but we haven't lost either."

Shoichi lowered his gaze, a visible shadow of doubt was on his face nonetheless. They sure went through a lot of shit. Ten years ago their lives were destroyed. Just like that. Some scoundrels interfered in their destinies, having broken, twisted, turned everything upside down. Was there any chance to fix such a mess? Shoichi wasn't sure. Every new day that his little brother, an innocent child who was taken by force and scarred beyond repair... well, by this time Shoichi was already almost certain it was like that. After so many years the boy still hadn't come out of the darkness that appeared in his mind due to the trauma and devoured his entire being. Not a living human, a grim silent shadow was confined in mental care facility for the past nine and half years. The kid who was now physically a young man was practically... dead mentally. No matter how many times Shoichi visited him, he was doing only one thing, over and over again, sitting curled up in one of the dark corners of his ward and staring into emptiness with glassy eyes akin to those of a dead fish. There was no glimmer of soul left in those eyes which saw nobody, the boy spoke nothing no matter how much Shoichi was trying to get at least some reaction out of him, so the poor older brother was mostly talking to gloomy gray walls purely for the sake of retaining his own sanity. Yes, Shoichi's own mental state was questionable too as his brother's permanent catatonic stupor was adding so much pressure on his own mind, mercilessly squeezing his heart in deadly cold fingers, but salvation...

A slim hand gently caressed the back of Shoichi's calloused hand, having made the man flinch, and then these pale fingers started playing with his, lacing in and out of them.

 _Salvation_...

"Kusanagi-san."

The man took an incredibly long moment before he gathered enough courage to look up.

 _Salvation_.

Shoichi's salvation was looking right into his soul with its beautiful emerald green eyes.

"Huh? What is it, Yusaku?" the man smiled somewhat clumsily as he was enchanted by those eyes that reflected the very last sunbeams and mysteriously sparkled in the dusk.

"You did a great job today. Thank you."

"For what?" Shoichi chuckled, and, luckily, pinkish dusk somehow concealed his blush. "I literally found zero information that could give us new clues."

"Even if it's so, you still tried your best. And also... if it wasn't for you, I would have totally forgotten to eat," the rosy glow of Yusaku's cheeks was also barely noticeable in the light of the setting sun. "You always make sure that my stomach is not empty and growling."

This was way too embarrassing and uncomfortable for Yusaku to admit, but it was the cruel fact that was undeniable. Ever since his confinement during Hanoi Project, during those six long months when he was forced to go through starvation unless he won duels, his food behavior twisted in quite an unhealthy way. It was normal for Yusaku that he would sometimes totally forget to grab a bite when needed and remember about it only when he was already light-headed and about to collapse. Fortunately, that never happened thanks to Kusanagi-san who would always remind him and, if needed, force him to eat at least a hot dog and drink a cup of coffee. Yusaku never kicked against it and, besides, hot dogs made at Café Nagi were maybe not the most healthy but his favorite food, the boy always chose Shoichi's cooking over anything else as he felt the man's genuine love along with exquisite taste and smell.

"Kusanagi-san..." Yusaku felt a sudden urge to tell something as his heart quickend its pace.

"Yeah?" Shoichi's smile right now seemed like the most amazing thing in the world to the boy.

"I, uh..."

Anxiety. Fujiki Yusaku knew this feeling all too well. It was like a vital part of his being, something without which his mind and body, even if it sounded extremely paradoxically, could not function properly. Anxiety was the force that rushed adrenaline into his blood, heated his whole body and made his pulse resonate like drums inside his head every time he dueled the Knights of Hanoi. Anxiety was the primary stimulus that, after having turned into courage, pushed the fearless vigilante Playmaker right into the inferno of life-or-death battles, but for an ordinary high school boy it was working exactly vice versa.

"Hey, Yusaku?" he felt his heart flutter as Kusanagi-san leaned closer to his face and carefully touched his forehead with the back of his hand. "What's wrong? Your face is so red... Have you got a fever?"

Before the boy could say anything his heart gave off a loud _ba-dump_  and was now thumping so desperately as if trying to escape, break through the rib cage and fly away, somewhere further, safer than in front of Kusanagi-san's very eyes.

Anxiety... It was not right for Yusaku to feel it. Not in front of this man. This man who was his closest friend, trusted companion, reliable confidant. Right, Yusaku had absolutely no reason to be so nervous in front of Kusanagi Shoichi, and yet the soul-crushing feeling was overwhelming him, every second that the man's eyes, amazing and sharp gray eyes kept staring right into his heart, the boy kept on dying and being reborn again.

"Yusaku?" there was an anxiety in Shoichi's voice now too as he watched the boy's face turning from bright crimson to pallid. The man suspected a panic attack coming so he firmly held his hands on Yusaku's shoulders, readying for whatever was about to burst. They had experienced it in the past quite a lot when the boy was younger, and Shoichi knew exactly how he was supposed to act if that happened again.

"Kusa... nagi-san..." Yusaku's lips were so dry as the man gently pressed their foreheads together.

"Shh. It's okay. I'm here for you," the tip of Shoichi's nose was touching the boy's ever so lightly that Yusaku couldn't help but remember about the famous eskimo kissing.

The boy slowly closed his eyes, feeling his cheeks getting flushed once more, and carefully tilted his head. First left, then right. Left, right... and as it was being done his and Shoichi's noses and foreheads were tenderly rubbing against each other. The man couldn't hold back a quiet moan as his mind was wrapped in a red-hot fog while Yusaku was breathing right against his lips with such an unexpectedly sultry look on his face.

"Yusa... ku."

Shoichi finally gave in and closed his own eyes as his fingers firmly laced with the boy's. Their breathing became ragged and labored, the two felt almost dying as their lungs grew stiff and sore and they needed oxygen _badly_... so they drank it from each other's lips as they had finally closed the tiny gap between them. Shoichi and Yusaku kissed and the entire universe just faded. This kiss... It was so slow and soft, but comforting in ways that words could never be. Shoichi's hand rested below Yusaku's ear and his thumb caressed the boy's cheek as their breaths mingled. Yusaku ran his fingers down the man's spine and pulled him closer until there was no space left between them and he could feel the beating of Shoichi's heart against his chest. Shoichi whimpered into the kiss, Yusaku's lips seemed to be smeared with some sort of unbearably sweet poison that was sending his mind into hyper-sensual state of intoxication. Softness, passion and sweetness of these lips were making the man come undone as he couldn't get enough of this mind-blowing madness. Yusaku let out a muffled whine as Shoichi slammed his lips harder against his and nearly knocked all wind from his lungs. The boy hardly had a moment to react as the man's tongue pressed against the seam of his lips and, as soon as the access was granted, slipped inside the young, virgin mouth. The kiss became way sloppier now as the two tongues were battling against each other while exchanging the light aftertaste of mustard from hot dogs in the intermingling of Yusaku and Shoichi's billowing breaths. The boy reached up his arms and tangled them around the man's strong neck. For a brief moment Yusaku pulled away and arched up into Shoichi's broad chest, moaning at the feeling of the man's body heat against his own before drawing back into his lips. Shoichi grunted as his arm encircled the boy's waist and almost made him fall off his chair, but, luckily, Yusaku held onto the man's neck tight so Shoichi just angled his head a bit more to the side for a better access of his tongue into that hot mouth. Yusaku moaned, unable to satisfy his thirst as his fingers gripped onto the man's hoodie. Totally drunk on endorphins, the boy fully ignored his sensors getting overloaded and overheated as they were sending non-stop "Danger!" warnings into his brain. Shoichi and Yusaku's breathing soon came to the perfect dissonant harmony, and the boy mewled desperately as the man's lips moved to his neck and warmth radiated from the spot where they touched the heated skin and a pleasant shiver spread through the rest of his body.

"Sho... ichi... sa..!"

This cry immediately made the man snap out of it as if he got hit by a lightning bolt. He literally bounced away from Yusaku with his eyes wide opened from shock and hand covering his mouth. Horrified, Shoichi gazed around as his heart was pounding like crazy.

What a fortune nobody was in the area to witness that utterly obscene act they just did. Shoichi couldn't and, to be honest, didn't want to imagine what could have happened in case of somebody passing by and seeing him and Yusaku...

"W-wow..." the man shuddered at the sound of the husky and breathy voice. "I suppose this is what they call "making out", huh?"

Yusaku was panting as he watched him with that delirious look on his bright red flushed face. His lips were red and swollen too and a thin thread of saliva drooled down his chin. Beautiful emerald eyes were clouded with the aftertaste of bliss and, that made Shoichi gulp, a bit of lust.

"Y-yusaku," overwhelmed with guilt, he bit his lower lip and shamefully looked away. "I'm so... sorry."

But the problem was that the man could not properly express just _how much_ he felt sorry. It was so sudden, like a psychotic break, like a pure insanity, a total eclipse of his mind and common sense. It was something beyond good and evil, something wrong on so many levels, something Shoichi shouldn't have, no, _must have never_ done to this boy! This boy for whom the man cared so much, so whole-heartedly... Shoichi was supposed to be his guardian, his best friend, confidant, partner, brother figure, anyone but this...

A sudden touch of soft fingertips against his lips caught the man completely off guard.

"Kusanagi-san," Yusaku said it in the tone that almost seemed like a satisfied cat's purring as he tenderly brushed his thumb across Shoichi's lips and looked right into the man's wide opened eyes. "Don't be. It was amazing. Especially this small detail. It felt so piquant tickling against my skin."

Yusaku's smile was somewhat carnivorous as he playfully tugged at the man's beard.

Shoichi could not believe his own ears. It all felt like some sort of a twisted dream, like a dark spell that was wrapping his head with a heated frenzy. It was so surreal and... just _what_ in the world did he do to this boy?!

"Yusaku..." the man gave a delicate cough into his fist, trying his best to keep his face as calm as possible in this situation, even if his face was burning like on fire. "Are you, by any chance, into boys?"

It was a _weird_ question, to say the least. But right now it was _very_ important to Shoichi as he seriously prepared to reconsider all the moments when he teased the boy about not hooking up with girls. Like, naturally, if Yusaku was  _really_ attracted to other guys...

"Not really," this answer of the boy confused Shoichi even worse. "If you mean whether I feel something for other boys, then no. Actually, I'm not that much interested in either boys or girls. It's... It's only about you, Kusanagi-san."

"What do you mean?" the man was already unable to comprehend any of this anymore as he watched Yusaku blushing and, unexpectedly even for himself, thought that the boy looked cute.

"That was my first kiss. It should be shared with the one whom you love, they say. And, Kusanagi-san, I... Even if this happened so spontaneous... I..."

"Now that's exactly what it is," Shoichi sighed heavily. "You should have shared it with someone whom you love romanticallyand... hang on a sec. Do you actually mean you are in... with me..?"

Yusaku nodded with the most serious face the man ever saw. The last time Shoichi could remember seeing this expression was when the boy decided to start their revenge quest and pursue the Knights of Hanoi. This was the face that Playmaker had each and every time he was battling those bastards in life-or-death duels.

This was the face of a mature man who was certainly not joking around.

Suddenly, Yusaku got up from his chair and, as he faced Shoichi, made a polite bow to him.

"I cannot hide it anymore. Forgive me. I'm in love with you... Shoichi-san."

The way he whispered it, the way his eyes were nervously glimmering, the more Kusanagi Shoichi realized that it was something dream-like. Like, was this seriously _it_?

_Did Yusaku just confess to him?_

"Forgive me, Shoichi-san..." the boy's voice became so treacherously shaky as if he was about to cry.

Grimly and without saying a word, the man got up from his own seat and jerked his head in the truck's direction, beckoning Yusaku to follow him. The boy felt his heart clench, his throat became completely dry as he complied and got inside the vehicle.

Shoichi sighed but still remained silent as he flopped into the driver's seat and threw his head back, having closed his eyes. Yusaku crossed his arms and looked to the side as he fidgeted in his seat next to the man. The tension between the two was making the air inside the cab become imaginary hotter and the silence that was making seconds flow incredibly slow was suffocating. Finally, Shoichi dared to move and took a bottle with water from the holder. Still not being courageous enough to watch, Yusaku heard the man drink greedily, swallowing loudly. When the bottle became half-empty, Shoichi sighed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he offered Yusaku the drink. The boy shook his head, avoiding looking at the man.

"So..." at long last, Shoichi was the first one to break this silence as he put the bottle back on its place. "How long have you been... feeling this way about me?"

"I..." the boy took a deep breath as he leaned back in his seat and gazed out of the window, trying to calm down as he watched the ocean and the auburn sky that was getting darker with each passing second now that the sun had disappeared behind the skyline. "I cannot tell exactly. You have always been very precious to me, so loving and caring, I appreciate and adore you with all my heart. You've always been a truly wonderful person in my eyes, Sho... Kusanagi-san. Whenever I felt sad or angry, you were the only one who knew how to soothe and comfort me. When we met, you stopped my tears and gently held my small hands in those big and warm of yours. And now I'm not alone anymore. You're always there for me in both real and virtual worlds. Both Fujiki Yusaku and Playmaker cherish and... love you the most. You're my everything, I'm sure of it."

Shoichi was looking at Yusaku, and they boy took a pause to focus better on his thoughts and feelings as the man's gaze was literally burning holes right through him.

"As for when I first realized that I'm attracted to you in this very specific way..." the boy continued as his heart was pounding like crazy. "It's hard to say, but I think it happened not so long ago. It's just that at some point and up until tonight you've always been filling up my thoughts."

Yusaku stopped talking for another moment, and, as his ears turned red, Shoichi suddenly felt a bit embarrassed too.

"I've known you for awhile and always thought of you as an important friend. You've been caring about me all this time, that's why I've also been serious when it comes to you. I'm growing older and, I hope, getting more and more mature. Yeah... I think it was somewhere before I started high school. Whenever you would have some female customers coming by your stand, I felt a sudden and weird prickle of... jealousy? The way you smile at all those girls... Of course, you're a grown single man, I suppose it's only natural for you to subtly woo pretty women, but... for some reason I felt that I wanted you to give me the same smile. Not just warm and friendly but the flirty one... You could probably say it's all simply because of my hormones, at first I thought so too as from time to time I had some pretty... indecent thoughts about you."

The boy nervously chuckled. Shoichi kept staring at the back of his head and barely realizing whether this all was a dream or reality.

"You must hate me now, right?" Yusaku whispered it as if trying to hide at least a little bit of his shaky voice. "But I cannot help it. I just realize that my universe starts and ends with you. I want to hold you. I want to kiss you. I want us to become one. You're the only stable force, the only stability in my world filled with chaos and I need you so desperately in my life. This feeling is way too overwhelming, yet makes me feel complete. We're the protectors of one another, confidants and true friends. The trust that I give you, that you give me, is what keeps us safe in this life. Who knows how soon this fight against Hanoi would have ended with me perishing if it wasn't for your support. I literally feel like you're my extension, that you have my heart in the pocket of your coat. I cannot imagine how would I have been without you... Kusanagi-san, I..."

Yusaku took a deep breath and finally turned around to look right into the man's eyes. The boy's own eyes were glimmering with moist as he smiled bitterly.

"I know this is an utter nonsense but I've realized that I love you not only as a friend but as a man too."

Shoichi's eyes were now basically glued to the boy as he, having whispered "I'm sorry", looked away again. The man was left stunned while his own heart was ready to burst, mind-numbing feeling of surreality overwhelmed him completely.

But no, this _was_ real.

 _Yusaku did just confess to him_.

Shoichi was not dreaming, the dream was going on while he was definitely awake.

"And I... May I..." Yusaku clutched the cloth upholstery on his seat, digging his nails in as his voice was nervously shaking. "May I know how Kusanagi-san feels about me?"

The man's own fingers twitched as his heart skipped a beat. Shoichi could feel his body temperature rise all the way from his toes to his face. What should he... His chest felt tight and it hurt to breathe.

"I..."

Shoichi couldn't speak, his lips were so dry. He was no longer able to think properly as his thoughts were blurred and some strange warm sensation was born deep inside him, having disabled his common sense almost entirely.

What could he say?

_How did he feel about Yusaku?_

As he was trying to find the answer his hand slowly and gently slipped on top of the boy's. Yusaku's heart stopped and he let out a quiet excited breath at the touch. Shoichi himself felt unbearably awkward, and yet...

"Yusaku, you're..." having taken a deep breath the man slowly started talking. "You're very, very important to me. For quite awhile you have been very dear to my heart. I cannot even find words to describe how much I appreciate having you by my side, how grateful I am for you simply smiling to me... heh, If only you knew how precious your smile is."

That was the truth in its purest form. If there was something that could possibly make Kusanagi Shoichi at least a bit happier, it was definitely this boy's smile. Usually brief and modest, and yet so beautiful. The most beautiful smile in Shoichi's world filled with darkness.

"You might think I'm exaggerating, but your presence is actually what makes me much, much stronger. I am... a failure as a big brother. I was supposed to look after my younger sibling, but, well, I was not able to fulfill my duty as an older one. Lots of people acquainted with our family who sympathized with the situation bluntly and subtly blamed me for not being there to protect the kid, that it was because of me that he ended up in darkness, that it was because of me that he became so broken and incurable. You know, there were times when I seriously agreed with all the accusations and almost lost my own sanity as I thought I was surrounded with nothing but hundreds of condemnatory glares ready to burn me alive... But that didn't happen. There was someone who saved me from that personal Hell of mine. That someone held onto me tightly and he was so gentle, so warm..."

Shoichi smiled tenderly as he leveled a loving gaze up the boy's face.

"That someone was you, Yusaku. Your small hands... you had no idea what it meant to me... to be held by them. And even now your hands are the anchor that prevents me from falling into darkness and keeps me where sunlight is. Your hands, your beautiful eyes as well, they make me forget my pain at least for a little while. It's not that I don't blame myself for my brother's condition anymore, I do and it hurts tremendously, but every time I see your face and look into your eyes I rediscover more hope that things will become normal eventually and I will find happiness again... though sometimes I'm really scared."

The man sigh heavily and grasped Yusaku's fingers tightly.

"Every time you go out into LINK VRAINS, I become scared. Those Hanoi know no mercy, and even if you manage to defeat them, I can't help feeling my heart ready to tear apart as you receive the smallest damage. It's... I know you have your own reasons to fight too, but for me to think that you might end up even _worse_ than you already had ten years ago... If something happens to you..."

Shoichi's voice grew shakier as he spoke, and before Yusaku knew it the man pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Don't let go of me!" he was no longer hiding those tears. "Don't let go, Yusaku! Even if it was your decision for me not to fight by your side in VR because you care for my brother's well-being, I... I still can't and don't want to imagine what could possibly happen to you... You risk your life in each and every of those battles, but... If something... something awful happens to you... If you let go of me... I'll shatter into thousand pieces... I will... I'll just die..."

Yusaku's big emerald eyes grew wide as the sobbing man was clinging onto him and his shoulders were shaking uncontrollably.

" _Ah, he's... He has truly sworn his life,_ " the boy thought as his own arms wrapped around Shoichi's back.

"Kusanagi-san," Yusaku kissed his temple as he soothingly stroked the back of his head. "I know how much you're worried to me. To be honest, I once happened to borrow your comb without you knowing it. And I noticed that... that one silver hair."

Shoichi shuddered in the boy's arms, but Yusaku held him closer.

"I know how much Kusanagi-san loves and worries about me. Your love is filling me to the brim, gives me light and hope, heals that hole in my heart created by the Hanoi Project. Whenever I get to sleep next to you, my nightmares that have been plaguing my mind for so many years vanish without a trace. You're... You're my happiness. But you're right. I _do_ make you nervous all the time. I'm so sorry... Worry not though. For all your love and care, I know how to repay you."

Yusaku's lips curved in a smile that made his face look even more beautiful as he leaned closer to whisper in Shoichi's ear.

"I'll repay you with all that remains of my life, Kusanagi-san."

Confused, the man looked into his eyes, and Yusaku wiped his tears away as he gently brushed his thumb across his cheek.

"Once our revenge is over and I grow into a truly mature and reliable man I'm going to marry you."

As if something struck him hard in his head Shoichi pulled away from the boy.

"W-wha..?!" the man's eyes were big like saucers.

But Yusaku's face was stony serious, it was certainly not that kind of face which one does as they're telling a joke.

"You're..." Shoichi barely parted his lips when the boy grabbed his hands and, having brought them up between them, entangled their fingers.

"I am," Yusaku nodded. "I'm not letting go of you. I know that same-sex marriages are still not allowed everywhere in Japan and they are not exactly considered "marriages", but it'll be alright. After all, we're both hackers and we can easily get a "legal" same-sex partnership certificate from a place where they're issued."

"But..." Shoichi whispered. "Isn't it too dangerous?"

"Kusanagi-san," the boy chuckled. "Haven't we already done lots of dangerous stuff?"

"We have, and yet..."

"Don't worry about that," Yusaku nuzzled his forehead against his. "We'll make it work one way or another. We'll live together and take care of your brother too. We shall get him out of his darkness and hold his hands with all love and care we can give him. The three of us will live happily, like a true family. Heh, perhaps, I suppose far into the future, we will be able to leave this god-damn country and move somewhere nicer, somewhere where our love will be deemed as it's truly supposed to be and I'll be able to wed you as officially as possible. I even had a dream once. Spain. Barcelona. Church. You and I. You look so handsome in that snow white tuxedo... and I put a shiny ring on your finger. You smile radiantly, and after we exchange our holly vows under the accompaniment of church choir we give each other the sweetest kiss possible. We'll receive our happily ever after for sure."

Flabbergasted, Shoichi kept staring at the boy. Every new word that was coming out of his mouth convinced the man that every one of them was meant to be taken seriously.

Yes, the look on Yusaku's face was also quite blunt about everything he said being jokes-aside-matter.

"That's how I see it," his voice was as hard as steel as he gripped the man's hands tightly. "What do you say, Kusanagi-san? Are you willing to spend the rest of your days with me? Do you feel the same way as I do?"

Shoichi shuddered slightly and lowered his gaze as his cheeks were glowing red.

What could he say?

No, what could he _think_..?

He had no idea. His thoughts were a complete mess. His mind was already boiling and his head was about to explode from all those thoughts that tried to squeeze their way through one another. But before they could get a chance to outvoice the last bits of his common sense Shoichi shook his head.

"Yusaku, I..." his hands slipped out of the boy's. "Before anything I must admit... I do feel the same way. I-I mean, you're a very attractive bo... guy. This is very embarassing to say, but recently I have realized that I _am_ attracted to you in _that_ way. However..."

Shoichi paused to take a deep breath. Gosh, this _was_ extremely hard. Finding correct words in this situation was as hard as finding needles in a haystack. If not careful, if he were to pick wrong ones, they could hurt badly both him _and_ Yusaku. That's why the man was taking in it slowly, treating each word that was coming out of his mouth as a bomb that was ready to explode if not handle it with care.

"However, are you ready to wake up every morning and see next to you not a cute girl's face but my bearded muzzle? What do you even see in an old man like me?" Yusaku parted his lips to say something, but Shoichi cut him right away. "Please, don't get me wrong. I appreciate it tremendously and I am very, very happy to know you love and want to be with me that much, it's just... well, you don't talk much to other people and you're still quite young..."

"You are implying that my feelings for you might be fleeting?" the boy frowned slightly.

Shoichi bit his lower lip. God, it definitely felt like a noose tightening around his neck as Yusaku's eyes were looking at him sternly but with a desperate cry for reciprocity.

No. The boy was _not_ joking about any of this. And that was driving the man crazy, because there were so many logical fallacies in everything he said.

"Yes," Shoichi blurted it out, feeling his cheeks burning and a salty clot stuck in his throat, but he had to say it, he simply had no other choice. "Eventually, I pray for that with all my heart, you'll get to socialize more with your peers. Who knows? Perhaps someone among them will catch your attention and make your heart flutter much more than I do right now. Someone else's smile will become the most beautiful to you. You will find your happiness in someone else's arms and their very presence will sweep you off your feet every day. And by their side every single one of those days will be sunlit..."

The man became quiet again and as he closed his eyes and tightly pressed his lips together Yusaku immediately recognized an agonizing effort not to cry.

"When that happens, I'll be left behind with broken heart. Besides, you say you want to repay me for everything, but isn't that another problem? You will choose to be with me only because you feel indebted for my help. Yeah, it's only natural that you gravitate towards me, it's very easy to fall for someone who helps you with something important and all the way. That's why I don't think it's a good idea for us to..."

"Kusanagi-san. Do you even hear what you're saying?"

Yusaku's expression made the man subconsciously shudder. The boy's eyes were staring right into his soul, burning it and digging out all his secrets. There was no doubt that Yusaku was barely holding back silent fury, and yet there were tears in the corners of his eyes.

"I can give you three reasons why you shouldn't take any of my words as a joke," the boy's voice was calm yet sharp enough to cut through steel. "First, I'm perfectly okay with your bearded muzzle. In fact, I don't think of you as "an old geezer" at all, you're a very handsome man in my eyes. Second, about you helping me out and me being "indebted" for that. Seriously? Isn't supporting each other and doing your best to reciprocate the help considered to be the foundation of healthy and happy relationship? Kusanagi-san, I suppose you didn't understand what I meant when I said that "my universe starts and ends with you". I was literally saying that you're my world, that just a single smile of yours is enough for me to feel much better, without you by my side I wouldn't have lasted this long neither fighting against Hanoi nor trying to somehow stay above water in everyday life. Trust me, by choosing to stay with you for the rest of our lives I'm not just repaying, no, that's not even enough for me to repay you for all the kindness and warmth that you've already granted me, a kid who is not your brother! I love you, Kusanagi-san, I really do. You're a wonderful person and you deserve it. That's honestly as simple as that."

Yusaku stopped talking and, having sighed heavily, reached for the bottle that was previously left by Shoichi in the holder.

"What about the third reason?" the man said quietly, not having courage to look at the boy greedily emptying the plastic vessel. Oh God, just how fast Shoichi's heart was beating at the moment!

"The third," Yusaku answered absolutely calmly as he wiped his lips, "we don't have to start acting like lovers immediately if that concerns you that much. We'll both wait until the time when we're ready to step over that line, but... you're worried that I might eventually "fall out of" love with you, huh? In that case, our worries are significantly different: I'm more worried about perishing tomorrow or any day and not being able to achieve our happily ever after."

A sudden realization struck Shoichi like a lightning bolt as he looked up, his eyes opened wide, at the boy.

"Then... Is that why you..?"

"Yes," Yusaku was looking into his eyes. "That's why I have opened up to you this soon. I know that you would have more peace of mind without me telling you something as crazy as this, but if I died tomorrow without letting you know how I truly felt about you... it would have been such a waste and my soul wouldn't have been able to rest in peace. Forgive me. I do understand it's selfish but that is the best choice for me who constantly sits on a barrel of gunpowder."

"Yusaku..."

To say that Shoichi was shocked would have meant to see only the tip of an iceberg. So many feelings were born inside him and each of them was stronger than others. And yet, the man was unable to distinguish between them as they were all lumping together into one big feeling of warmth that was making his heart flutter while he kept looking at the boy.

Surprised, Yusaku gasped quietly as Shoichi hugged onto him tightly.

"Thank you," the man's whisper was hot against the boy's earlobe. "I'm sorry that I cannot reciprocate your feelings the way you want right now. But you cannot imagine how happy you made me today. To know that you appreciate and love me that much... I would dive into the deepest Hell with you, Yusaku."

The boy blushed and as the man held his face between his hands held onto them tightly.

"But even if we can't be anything more than we're now, am I still allowed to love you, well, like a man?"

"If that gives you any extra points to inspiration," Shoichi chuckled, "why not?"

"You said if I ever fall for someone else, you will be heartbroken..."

"That was just me being a little selfish myself. I wish for you to be happy, Yusaku. Regardless of us being a couple or not."

"Kusanagi-sa..."

"You may call me Shoichi-san when we're alone."

"Shoichi-san," the boy giggled.

Even though this was a difficult and a bit controversial topic to talk about the two laughed joyfully as they felt an enormous burden vanishing from their hearts.

"I love you, Shoichi-san," Yusaku nuzzled his cheek against the man's palm.

"I love you too," he chuckled as he kissed the boy's forehead and then put his hands on the rudder. "But let's go home? It's already dark."

"Just so you know," Yusaku smirked, "I consider this whole day as you having taken me out on a date."

"Eh?! Why is that?"

"I once accidentally overheard my classmates babbling about this spot being a perfect place for dates," the boy shrugged, smiling. "Who knows what you had in mind when you decided to take me here?"

"You can be sure I never planned _any of this_ to happen!" Shoichi's face reddened beyond imaginable but then he smiled softly. "Though I _am_ happy that all this happened."

"And the kiss too?" Yusaku smirked again and pointed at the now empty bottle in his lap. "For your information, indirect kisses are also kisses, so in total we kissed twice today."

"Yusaku!"

Shoichi laughed as happily as he had never laughed before. It sure was enjoyable to be this open with the boy.

"But it's a pity that apparently we won't see Stardust Road shining tonight," the man sighed.

"Then it will be the first thing on to-do list if survive and get together in the future," Yusaku gave him a little peck on the cheek.

"But it's gonna be alright, huh?" Shoichi asked with a tint of concern in his voice. "We'll never be apart? As long as we're alive, we'll be together in any case?"

"Sure," the boy smiled and nuzzled against his cheek.

The man smiled back and started the engine.

As they were driving through the streets of Den City the two talked as usual, but deep inside each of them knew, it was deeply etched in their hearts.

 _Jokes Aside_.

Now they had even more reasons not to lose their battle.

_The Battle For Happiness._

**Author's Note:**

> Even though I strongly suspect any kind of misunderstanding/conflict/tragedy coming into their relationship eventually, one can dream of happily ever after ending, right?


End file.
